Marriage

Jumping into Joint

Jeremiah and I have been married for three months and twenty-four days… when I look back on the time we have been married, it feels like forever, but as I stared at the calendar to count the actual time, it seems like a millisecond! I have a little confession: We have been on the slower side of getting our stuff together. We have all of these intentions that seemed to get lost in the lull of everyday life; in other words, we are bad at prioritizing. I haven’t managed to get my name changed on most stuff, but I’m working on it. We are always “working on it,” but at some point, you have to just jump in with both feet and go from there.

It has been tricky to keep up with bills ever since we got married. Some of the expenses come out of my bank account while some come out of his and it was difficult to keep track of how much we had, because our income was being sorted into two different locations. Honestly, it was just a big mess! So yesterday, we said goodbye to “working on it” and hello to joint checking.

Sadly, the mess wasn’t cleaned up immediately, but we are well on our way to being more organized and more on top of our finances. Creating a new bank account can be intimidating and comes with its own set of challenges. The biggest one so far is getting all of our direct deposits and bills to go into and come out of our new joint account instead of individuals as well as closing our old accounts at banks that aren’t nearby, but I am excited for our new mindset of getting things done!

From here, we are well on our way to setting up an overall stress-free environment!

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The Young New Girl Curse

I have a baby face. I see twenty-two and others see twelve.

Having a baby face isn’t the worst thing in the world. Being able to take advantage of kid meals and youthful looks in the future almost makes it an asset. Looking really young is basically an invitation for strangers to make comments about your age, eligibility to work, and relationship status. Most of the time they know you are most likely older than you look, but they want the satisfaction of laughing and claiming that you will appreciate it when you get older. I have become a master of the polite smile and “I’m sure I will” that inevitably follows their comment. And you know what, I probably will appreciate looking fabulous when everyone else is falling apart, but right now I just want to look my age.

Sometimes I feel that people with a baby face are often treated like children even if it is unintentional. Before, I mostly experienced it at restaurants. I would be out at dinner with my family and the hostess would automatically grab a kid’s menu, my drink would be brought out in a kid’s cup, and my mother would be looked at for my order. Having this happen can be funny, but eventually it just gets old causing you to want to throw a tantrum and exclaim that you really are a grown-up!

Now I have a college degree, a husband, and a corporate full-time job. I want to be taken seriously! Having been part of the workforce for a little while, I have decided that the baby face + recent college graduate + female = The Young New Girl Curse. I am now the young new girl. I am not the newest or the youngest person to have been hired and yet I am still treated that way. It has been four months and a raise since I have been working this position. I don’t know everything, but I can definitely hold my own. It definitely doesn’t help that my company works primarily through online correspondence, so all others see is my picture. Oh look at that young new girl! Oh are you the young new girl? Sigh.

In the past month, I have really begun to feel confident in my position. I take on extra work and I go the extra mile to get the documents I need. Occasionally, I’ll mess up or get something wrong. I’m okay with this, because that is how I will learn for next time, yet I still have others offering to just do it for me. Do. It. For. Me. Like I am an incapable child. I know these people are just trying to be nice, but I can stand on my own two feet regardless of how young I look or what gender I am. I just want those around me to realize: It takes the possibility of drowning for the opportunity to swim.

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The Responsibility of Being On Your Own

While growing up, you constantly hear the phrase “on your own”. Once you hit a certain age or a certain life stage, you are officially on your own. It could be simply being on your own or most specifically paying your bills on your own.

When you are really young, the thought of being responsible is terrifying. Then you get a bit older and the thought is liberating. Once you finally make it, you can’t help, but wish someone would take care of you again.

Tuesday night, the realization of being on my own really sank in. I felt like a grown-up. I had created a menu of what was going to be for dinner this week from the food we had at the apartment. Let me just say that I am an avid fast food eater. I love me some fast food!! I am definitely part of the “I want it now” generation, because I don’t like waiting for my food to cook or cleaning up after cooking. But now that Jeremiah and I have bills to pay and a savings to grow, eating out isn’t really the best option for us right now.

We followed the menu well on Monday. I made chili cheese dog bake and it felt great to follow our plan and not eat out. The goal for Tuesday was to cook asparagus salad with the Home Chef ingredients we had. Well Jeremiah was taking a lot longer to get home than I expected. When he called to tell me he was on his way, I whined and said I didn’t want to cook. He encouraged me to make the right decision to not eat out, but also told me to go ahead and check my bank account. When I looked at my account, I had less than $10. Sigh. That’s what happens when you have to pay bills and rent.

As I laid there dreading the cooking and cleaning that was inevitable, I got to thinking about responsibility and family. I hoped to have kids one day and had to learn how to not be selfish with my money, but to also be responsible about what I buy and when I buy it. Eating out is a luxury and I can’t pinpoint when I started making it requirement. Growing up, we rarely ate out. We never had soda or sweets at the house. Ordering pizza and having ice cream or soda was always for a birthday party or special event. I want to remember that although I don’t have to live exactly how I did growing up, I should still remember certain values in order to continue growing as an adult.

With all that being said, when Jeremiah got home, we compromised. We ordered a pizza and paid with a gift card. So technically, we didn’t spend any of our money and I still didn’t have to cook.

I’m not perfect, but I’m a proud work-in-progress!

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When Opportunity Emails

I have always been terrified of opportunity.

I always run the opposite direction when I think a dream is too big or an opportunity is too great.

Two years ago, I had the opportunity to be an intern at Southwest Airlines. I applied for a technical writing position for the summer in their central publications department, because my best friend at the time worked there and raved about how wonderful it was. I rambled my way through the phone interview. They liked me and we scheduled an in-person interview. The day of the in-person interview, I bailed. I got so scared and called to cancel, but was left leaving a voicemail saying I would not be coming to my interview. In my fear, I drove all the way home (at the time was my parent’s house that I grew up in), hoping to find some kind of clarity or strength. No one was home, so I cowered inside when my phone rang. The interviewer did not get my voicemail in time and was calling to see where I was. I was mortified and absolutely embarrassed.

I was so ashamed at my behavior, but justified it by believing that everyone has these moments of terror, that it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my summer, and that I wasn’t ready. I told myself over and over that other opportunities would come around that I wouldn’t back away from.

After that incident, I made it my goal to have a full-time position by the time I graduated. I applied furiously in the hopes that I would not become part of the overwhelming majority of college students who graduate only to be unemployed. I got a call back from one of the companies I had applied to. I made it through three rounds of interviews when I was hired on as the newest associate project coordinator. My dream had come true and I was so excited to get to work. When I figured out what it was I was actually doing, it wasn’t anything that I thought it would be, but I was glad to be getting a paycheck.

I have been working in this position for a little over three months and I have to admit that telecommunications isn’t the way I thought I would go and I am a little nostalgic for writing and editing, but I was not brave enough to start applying to new places yet. I wanted to stick it out plus I am just now starting to feel comfortable. Well, apparently God had other plans, because late last week, I received an email from someone at Southwest who had found my resume from two years ago and thinks I would be a great fit with a new position they have opening up. I read it over and over again and couldn’t believe it was real. I mustered all of my courage and called the person who reached out to me… after hanging up I realized that was my initial phone interview.

Well, after a whole weekend of waiting, I was contacted yesterday about setting up an in-person interview as well as a writing/editing test. The nerves are finally settling in, but I am determined to show up and wow them!! So, here’s to having a fantastic interview today!