Motherhood

Mother’s Day | 2020

On the eve of my second Mother’s Day, I come to you from the couch in my living room. The living room that has still not been put back together since we moved it around for Hazel’s first birthday party. The birthday party whose decorations are still hanging proudly. I tell you that because that is part of my motherhood. I don’t always feel like a mother. I have been a mom for over a year – a year and nine months if you count pregnancy – but somehow I still don’t believe that’s my title, but lately it has been sinking in more and more and I am loving it. Last weekend was probably one of the best ones I have had where I could honestly look at myself in the mirror and say, “You’ve got this mom thing and you’re doing great!”

Affirming my mom status within myself is such a huge thing and it has taken a while to get there. I have had to understand and accept that my motherhood is my own and it doesn’t look like anyone else’s. It is so easy for me to play the comparison game with the other mom’s in my life or the mom’s on my screen, but I have started to tell myself no and anytime those thoughts creep in, I turn my phone off or I remind myself of all I have accomplished as a mother.. and a wife… and just a person.

My motherhood looks like 8am breakfasts of waffles from a box. My motherhood looks like racing the dog to see who can get to the rejected food first. My motherhood looks like singing a silly song to get the hands and mouth clean after a meal. My motherhood looks like my one year old joining me on a work video call. My motherhood looks like watching a big toothy grin swing back and forth in our backyard. My motherhood looks like cleaning up a room only to have the toys back on the floor in a matter of seconds. My motherhood looks like reading a book backwards, because that is the way my kiddo is turning the pages. My motherhood looks like month long birthday decorations. My motherhood looks like 40 work hours a week. My motherhood looks like facetiming with my mom every day. My motherhood looks like three day old hair. My motherhood looks like wobbly legs and accomplished smiles. My motherhood is that and more!

So from one mom to another on this Mother’s Day: You’ve got this mom thing and you’re doing great!

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Letting It All Go

I have been thinking a lot lately about the word all.  More specifically…

Doing it all.

Having it all.

Keeping track of it all.

Controlling it all.

We live in a society that is constantly shoving in our faces that we need to have the best, biggest, newest and that we need to be going, doing, experiencing, not missing a thing. We are told that being comfortable and content is lazy and negative. We should always be pursuing people, places, and things and looking for ways to better ourselves and our lives. And it’s easy to get lost in all the noise.

I for one have definitely gotten lost. I get overwhelmed and exhausted from trying to stay busy, productive, and active. I go through stages where I can’t sit still and want to be out of the house, spending time with friends and family, and just filling my day with one activity after another until I am so burnt out and unhappy. Then I swing to the other side where I never want to leave the house, I want to turn off my phone and never fill my car up with gas so I can avoid everyone, and I just sit at home watching tv and wallowing about how I can’t do/have/keep track/control it all.

And you know what — I’m sick of it. Looking back on this past year, I believe there is a happy medium. Busy, productive days are good and needed, but so are slow, chill days. One thing I’m learning is to listen to myself, so that I don’t reach either of the above extremes. Understanding and accepting that I am an introvert, a homebody, a dreamer, and a night owl can help me be fruitful in my roles as wife, mother, daughter, and friend.

I didn’t make resolutions this year, because I decided I didn’t need a list of goals that determine if I was successful or not. Instead, I am just going with the flow.

It has taken me awhile, but I have finally realized that I need to start looking at my life through different lenses. It has been just me for so long that I had to do a lot of trial and error to figure out how to stop thinking of my time, energy, wants, and needs as just mine and instead look at them as how they fit in with my new and growing family. With that being said, it is an exciting time for me, as momma Grey, to figure out how our little family is going to flourish and thrive, but I am eager to see how I, and my family, grow in time!

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December Recap

I’m always worn out by the end of the year. Last week I lost my beloved Nana, so Christmas this year was bittersweet being Hazel’s first Christmas, but also the first Christmas without my Nana. It’s been a very busy and emotionally charged month and I am ready for some calm. Even though December was a difficult month, but was also very fun with the lights and celebration!

Goals

Rebuild My Faith

Still not making much progress here. I’m kind of a stand still.

Birth Our Baby Naturally

Save More, Budget Better

Yes! The budget wasn’t stuck to, but we saved a lot!

Exercise

Ha!

Meal Plan & Cook At Home More

A little bit. November was better, but there was meal planning, but with a minimal follow through.

Monthly Family Meetings

Nope.

Read More

Don’t think I read at all. 😦

Buy A House

Love My Husband Better

I think so!

Write Often

I am going to count this as a win for this month – I posted five times and that is the most I have done in a few months. The passion just isn’t there right now, but I am proud to at least get one post a week!

Monthly Planned Date Night

Yes! Jeremiah took me to downtown Grapevine to watch It’s a Wonderful Life in an old timey movie theater.

Books Read
  • A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult
Shows Watched
  • Friends
  • Blue Bloods
Movies Watched
  • Home Alone
  • It’s a Wonderful Life
  • Let It Snow
  • The Knight Before Christmas
  • Jack Frost
  • Same Time Next Christmas
  • Little Black Book
  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Places Traveled
  • Grapevine, TX

I am so ready to start a new year and a new decade. I love new beginnings and second chances, so let’s do this!

Travel, West Virginia

New Every Morning // Great Cacapon, WV

For our epic road trip this year, we decided to go to West Virginia. Typically, we choose a place we have never been before, but with Hazel being born, we thought it was more important to see family. So we embarked on a 24 hour drive with four people and a baby… and it was a success! Hazel was actually the best behaved on the trip out of all of us!!

We chose West Virginia, because Jeremiah’s aunt and uncle own a bed and breakfast up in the mountains – New Every Morning. His uncle builds all the buildings himself and they even cut down their own lumber. He’s a really cool guys and it’s a really cool place! This was my second visit.

His aunt is so kind and creative. She decorates all the rooms and makes them so unique and welcoming. On every visit, she writes a sweet note to us and provides plenty of snacks, blankets, games, and any extra toiletries we might have forgotten. It’s always a wonderful, warming experience!

The view doesn’t hurt either! I specifically chose October for our trip in hopes of seeing beautiful and colorful foliage. Although it wasn’t in full peak – it’s hard to pinpoint – it was more colorful than what we had in Texas. I enjoyed multiple walks around the ground and just lounging around looking out the window.

The best part of the trip was getting so much quality time with our incredible family! We laughed, smiled, told jokes, cooked, ate… and so much more together! Our family up there are some of my favorites and I’m so grateful for the family I married into. I am already ready to plan another trip to visit them! ❤