I have been thinking a lot lately about the word all. More specifically…
Doing it all.
Having it all.
Keeping track of it all.
Controlling it all.
We live in a society that is constantly shoving in our faces that we need to have the best, biggest, newest and that we need to be going, doing, experiencing, not missing a thing. We are told that being comfortable and content is lazy and negative. We should always be pursuing people, places, and things and looking for ways to better ourselves and our lives. And it’s easy to get lost in all the noise.
I for one have definitely gotten lost. I get overwhelmed and exhausted from trying to stay busy, productive, and active. I go through stages where I can’t sit still and want to be out of the house, spending time with friends and family, and just filling my day with one activity after another until I am so burnt out and unhappy. Then I swing to the other side where I never want to leave the house, I want to turn off my phone and never fill my car up with gas so I can avoid everyone, and I just sit at home watching tv and wallowing about how I can’t do/have/keep track/control it all.
And you know what — I’m sick of it. Looking back on this past year, I believe there is a happy medium. Busy, productive days are good and needed, but so are slow, chill days. One thing I’m learning is to listen to myself, so that I don’t reach either of the above extremes. Understanding and accepting that I am an introvert, a homebody, a dreamer, and a night owl can help me be fruitful in my roles as wife, mother, daughter, and friend.
I didn’t make resolutions this year, because I decided I didn’t need a list of goals that determine if I was successful or not. Instead, I am just going with the flow.
It has taken me awhile, but I have finally realized that I need to start looking at my life through different lenses. It has been just me for so long that I had to do a lot of trial and error to figure out how to stop thinking of my time, energy, wants, and needs as just mine and instead look at them as how they fit in with my new and growing family. With that being said, it is an exciting time for me, as momma Grey, to figure out how our little family is going to flourish and thrive, but I am eager to see how I, and my family, grow in time!